I had a brief conversation with a friend and partner today. Usually, I struggle to put into words an answer to the question, "how are you?" but today had some success. I thought I would share it in case you were wondering.
Friend: How are you?
Me: I am not really enjoying the rollercoaster that is life. The undertone of my summer has been discouragement, so it has been rough some days. I cannot wait for this season of life to be over.
Friend: Still see Student Venture as the path the Lord is keeping you on?
Me: Definitely. It is just a hot fire of a process to get there - God is burning off impurities in my life, which is great, but as I am confronted with my vast wretchedness I struggle to thrive in His grace, and instead get stuck in my habit of guilt and same.
Sometimes I feel so far from experiencing the gospel in my daily life. Please pray for the spiritual warfare that is going on for my heart and affections, for my mind and attitudes. I long to experience God's waterfall of grace, yet I have a dam of guilt that keeps me as dry and weary as a desert. Pray that God demolishes that dam of guilt for me.
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