Wednesday, August 19, 2015

The Woods of Solitude

Technology robs us of silence,
of solitude.
Convenience becomes an intrusion.
The noise keeps us shallow and prevents us from being taken to the depths.
And the depths cry louder.
We become uncomfortable.
We hush their cries with the noise of technology –
we numb the longing for deep connection
with the convenience of quick, shallow communication.
We scramble to fill
only to realize we are becoming more empty.
We break the vicious cycle and sit in silence.
It is uncomfortable.
All the voices of desire,
all the groanings too deep for words
begin to rise.
We are scared.
We want more noise!
to hide the fear,
to distract from the pain of longings unfulfilled.
But we press on in stillness.
As the silence grows and our minds become calm,
our soul emerges from hiding,
like a wild beast emerging from the brush because
we finally stopped traipsing through the forest.
Sitting quietly by a tree
we finally realize how our crashing through the forest of our lives
kept our wild souls in hiding.
But in quiet, in solitude,
We invite our souls to be seen,
to be heard.
Then we begin to hear –
the longings of our soul
the hopes
the dreams.
We are reminded of who we really are
and who we really want to be.
The emotions rise –
who we are is not who we really want to be!
And what we have is not really what we want.
We sit in our sadness from the discrepancies between our heart and lives.
And then we hear it –
a new voice
a voice not our own,
a voice of promise
a voice of hope.
We can be fulfilled and satisfied!
But this new way,
this life
is so much different than what I look like on the outside…
I become discouraged,
I fear the shame
of so much change.
But then the voice speaks love.
My heart floods with sadness and joy as I realize that is what I wanted all along!
My constant searching through technology,
my constant busyness and noise,
and yet here
in the silence
and the uncomfortable solitude
is where I have found the deepest longing of my heart.
I am so glad I went here.
I am so glad I stopped here.
I have peace,
and joy.
I smile.

JOLTED by the obnoxious intrusion of my phone’s ‘ding’ and vibration,
I jump from the tree where I found solitude…and love.
My wild soul goes running into hiding as I keep running through the woods.
Remembering what just happened,
almost as if it were a dream,
I pause and look back to that tree.
“I’ll be back soon.” I whisper with a smile.
Then I turn and keep running.

[This poem was inspired by my readings in Sacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton]

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