God "randomly" directed me to Psalm 62 on Thursday. I love it so much, and God is already using it to change my heart, so I just wanted to share some of my thoughts as I read through it the first couple times (so as you read my conclusions keep in mind that I have not fully studied this verse, so if my conclusions are off base or out of context, I am admitting to you right now that they might be).
Verses 1-2 and 5-8 are my favorite parts.
[verse 9] At first I did not understand what "balances" meant, but the second or third time I think I got it!
"in the balances they go up" - like, they do not bear much weight
"For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,..."
This is probably my favorite verse of the whole psalm. I especially like that it is David talking to his own soul, and that when I read it, I am talking to my own soul (which I think has much power to affect change in me). In addition to that, I feel like being positive and patient is my big struggle with my flesh right now. I must confess and apologize for any negativity that I have conveyed towards this process of developing my team of ministry partners. It may be challenging, but that does not give me the right or freedom to be negative, as I feel I have been doing. God has called all of us to do everything without complaining or arguing. So I like the directness and challenge of this verse to be silent in the waiting. It helps me to not speak negatively towards something that is good, but to remain silent if all I want to do is grumble.
"...for my hope is from him."
My hope is from him, not from my partners, not from my efforts, not from money and not from my circumstances, all of which are things in which I have sometimes hoped instead of God.
"...if riches increase, set not your heart on them."
I feel that this is a very applicable warning/reminder for me as I begin to think about receiving a bigger paycheck in the (hopefully near) future. I must be careful not to put my hope and trust in money, but always in my Provider, Jesus. My comfort and peace comes not from "enough money" but from my Lord, my Provider.
"...For you will render to a man according to his work."
(As a side note: I don't understand how this fits in with the context. Hopefully it will be revealed to me soon, so I can have an accurate interpretation and application of this verse.)
I must admit, this verse scares me a little. But only in my sense of guilt that maybe I am not doing enough or that I could/should be doing more. Despite my continued effort in building my team of ministry partners, I frequently feel like I could/should be doing more. I recognize that this may be conviction or may be a lie from the enemy (or maybe a little of both). So I am trying to be careful with my conclusions from this verse, especially considering that I have not dug into it yet. From that mindset, I wonder if maybe I would be closer to my financial goal if I had just done more or worked harder. But I know that I cannot dwell on that for too long, or it will get me into trouble!
But, on a positive note, this verse is a good challenge for me to aim higher - to ask God for and pursue more opportunities, more contacts, and more dials.
Yet in all this focus on "my work", I recognize that even that is from the Lord. For my abilities, skills and desires come from him. I can work because of him and I see results because of him.
For about a week prior to stumbling upon this psalm I had recognized that I needed a perspective change and I had been asking God for just that. Though it is only the beginning of it, I feel like this is the perspective that I need. I really look forward to digging into this psalm more, and I am especially looking forward to God changing my heart through it.