Friday, June 20, 2008

I'm done!

Whew! I can't believe it is finally over with. I got my paper finished in about an hour and it is amazing to be free of school for a while. And just like with last semester I'd like to take some time to reflect. If there's anything I'm learning from the college of education, it's reflectivity. I read somewhere that life isn't worth living if we don't reflect on it. That maybe extreme, but there's definitely some merit to the idea. I'll break it down again by domains.

Academically, this was my most challenging semester. It was rough. But I learned a lot, academically and about life. I learned much about educational psychology and English language learners, and a little about ethics and legal issues related to education. I also learned about the horrid inequalities that exist in our education system. Kozol's Savage Inequalities was eye opening and, I have to admit, I didn't want to continue reading it after the first few pages. It just broke my heart to read about the conditions in which some people live. It's worse than some third world countries, and it's here in America! Ugh, it just frustrates me. I also learned a lot about how to say no and set boundaries. It wasn't easy, but if I wanted to do my best and get good grades and really learn the material, I had to say no to just about everything except school. I said no to friends, fun, sleep, and too frequently I said no to spending time with God. I learned how to work hard and to keep working when everything in me didn't feel like it. I definitely notice a difference in my ability to persevere mentally. I learned how to be busy all day everyday until the weekend; then I was only busy most of the day everyday. : ) Rough as it was, it feels so good to have conquered it and to make it out alive and well. I don't think I would do it again, but I celebrate it and don't regret it in any way.

Emotionally, I didn't have much time to feel or reflect on my feelings so I can't tell you much about that. I started going to counseling and I'm glad I'm going. I was really unsure at first, but now, I'm glad. There's some things I need to work through. I'm not looking for the process and the emotional upheaval that will take place within me, but I really look forward to when it all settles back down. I'm excited to get to the end result and being more healthy emotionally.

Spiritually, it was good. Like I said, I did not spend much time with God, in my Bible, and just listening. I still talked, and am working on getting my prayer life back to where it was and where I want it. Even still, I think I grew so much closer to God. He blessed me all the time with school and really took care of me. Crusade is going through some changes right now and I'm so excited about it. I feel like we are finally starting on the right path, and he's pleased with the direction we're going. Sadly (that's another story) I'm not involved with the leadership this summer, but it's still in my heart. God has put that leading spirit in my heart and it's so cool to see how he's been telling me the same things he's been telling those who are on the leadership team. So even though I didn't spend much time in the Word, God still talked to me a lot, a lot.

I'm really excited to be done with school and to get on with the next things on my "To Do" list. I really can't wait to start exercising again. I am dying to get out on the court and play some basketball. Hanging out with friends is definitely a contributing factor to my excitement. I've felt so lonely this past semester and I can't wait to be around people again. Well, I know this is not well thought out and I probably forgot some things, but I'm going to play some b-ball before tonight.

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