The cross was for God first?

"Am I excited about the cross because there God makes much of me, or am I excited about the cross because there I was purchased and freed to enjoy making much of the righteousness and the glory that is vindicated there, for me to see forever and ever? ... It is so liberating because I cease to be the foundation of my salvation. Rather the infinite worth of the righteousness of of God becomes the basis of my salvation. God's unswerving allegiance to uphold and to vindicate his glory for my enjoyment, is the foundation of my salvation. ... When God's exaltation of God in Christ is your joy, when God's exaltation of God in Christ at the cross is your joy, your joy can never fail."

Click here if you want to listen to the whole message and meditate on it yourself. Following is a very poor attempt to regurgitate Piper's message for you in briefer form and some of my reflections.

In this message, John Piper juxtaposes two "mindsets." By "mindset" he means mindset, emotional set, attitude set - a set all inclusive of our selves and our attitudes, which determines the way we view, respond to, and feel about the world - it is an orientation to the world. These two mindsets are the Biblical mindset and the secular mindset. The latter is one that begins with man, measuring all things by humanity, while the former begins with God, measuring everything by God. The one that you employ will determine everything you think and feel about everything, and Piper's message here is specific to the cross of Christ - what is the problem God is trying to solve in the sending and bruising of his son? Piper uses Romans 3 as his text for this message and speaks about God's righteousness.

"This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. 26 It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus." Romans 3:25-26

There we see the answer - This was to show God's righteousness. The problem was that his righteousness needed showing, because he had passed over former sins.

Whoa. Take that in for a second. He had passed over former sins. So why is that a problem? God is being kind and that's a problem?

YES. God's righteousness would have gone down the tubes, so to speak, if he had not judged and convicted all of those sins he once "passed over." All would fall apart! By passing over our sin, God would be agreeing with our exchanging the glory of God for other things - the low value of his glory.

So Jesus came and was bruised so that God could glorify himself? Boy, that sounds egotistical, right? Maybe, but Piper argues that God's self exaltation is loving. And here we return to where we started.

When God's exaltation of God in Christ is your joy, when God's exaltation of God in Christ at the cross is your joy, your joy can never fail.

The cross was for God's sake, then ours. And it is for our sake because our joy is (or should be) in the worth and righteousness of God. *sigh* That's still a lot to take in. And the bottom line? It may be evident - it's all about God (the Biblical mindset).

So am I excited about the cross because there God makes much of me, or am I excited about the cross because there God makes much of himself? Oh, how so many view the former - the prideful, self-centered "gospel," and I admit to often being one who has held that view. I am prideful, and God, the past 6 months or so, has been revealing just how prideful and self-centered I am. The problem is that we often reduce the Gospel to a means to pump up our self esteem. Here in America it's all about how much good we feel about ourselves, especially for women, and there are always new confidence boosters and builders to self-esteem. But what's it worth, and more importantly, is it really working? I say no! When we base the cross on us we demean it's power and worth and validity. When we base the cross on us, our need for salvation, we ruin it for ourselves, especially our self-esteem. Because one day when we have a down moment, we realize we are not worthy of such sacrifice, and then it doesn't make sense to us and our self-esteem no longer has a basis. In reality, we have never been and never will be worth that sacrifice! But God's righteousness was worth it and it is to our benefit - to find life and love in God upholding his worth and glory and righteousness. AND THIS IS WHY our joy can NEVER be destroyed because God IS righteous and glorious and ALWAYS worthy. And our identity is in him and from him, and that should be from where we derive our confidence, our "self"-esteem - from God - God-confidence, God-esteem.

I could probably blabber on in circles with my unedited thoughts but I will spare you, hoping that this is plenty about which to ponder. Maybe when it has settled more in my mind and heart I will write further.

MPD follow-up conference

Yesterday I returned from a five day endeavor to Norcross, GA for my MPD (ministry partner development) follow-up conference. The main purposes for this conference was to follow-up the training I received this past summer in Colorado and also provide some stewardship training. Some added benefits included seeing NST (new staff training) friends and reconnecting and deepening those relationships. I think the MPD process groups were my favorite parts of the conference. During these times we got into small groups and discussed our experiences with the MPD process. It was encouraging to hear other encouraging stories and other discouraging stories, as well as sharing my own. The best part, however, was just being able to laugh with others about our experiences. Experiences that, outside this group of comrades, would not be seen as humorous. The evaluation of some of my presentation and MPD process was affirming. Throughout the conference we spent a large amount of time on stewardship training. I added many things to my knowledge of the topic and am excited to pursue some practices that I have not been doing. All in all, the conference was a great time of encouragement and fellowship. I have returned recharged and excited for this next leg of the MPD process!

Picking up where I left off

I was recently inspired to do a video update, and thought it a wonderful idea since it would likely be much quicker than me writing a whole bunch and you reading a whole bunch. So I hope you enjoy the quick video to catch you up on where I am at now.



I know I said I'd put up some pictures of the beach, but I ended up not taking any pictures of the beach that day, sorry. Anyway, I look forward to doing more video updates in the future, as they are kind of exhilarating and fun.

My new book journey

So I've had this book sitting on my bookshelf a couple of months and have wanted to read it since I got it. The rain was falling yesterday afternoon as I was preparing to take Emily to the airport and the gloominess gave me this strong desire to curl up and read a book. I was standing next to my bookshelf and this one book just kept pulling at me, but I walked downstairs to get ready to go. Almost ready to go, my mind returned to the thought that after I dropped her off I could just go somewhere and read for a little bit before returning to life. I thought of the book and couldn't resist running upstairs one more time to get the book, on the off chance that I decided to stop and read

Flash forward a little: I can't find a good place aside from home to read, so I just decide to go home and park it on the living room couches - the most comfy couches in the whole house, and some of the most comfy in which I've ever sat. The living room was not as quiet as I wanted but I trusted that if I were focused enough the TV would not bother me. On the way home the desire to journal had been growing. So I sat down and wrote a little to Jesus, using this book as a sort of writing surface. In the middle of a train of thought I played with the bead on the bookmark I had earlier placed in the book for use once I had read some. All of a sudden my current thoughts were interrupted by an idea. Whether it is from God or not, and whether that even matters, I don't know. I do know that the more I read about this book and what others say about it, I get more and more excited to journey through it. But I know it has the potential to be a hard journey for me and I would love for someone to go with me. My thought was, "I could read this through with someone else," and I got excited at that thought. Then as I read through some of the preliminary stuff, that idea of reading through it with someone else was confirmed. Brian McLaren says of this book, "[it] is a treasure to be read slowly and with your closest friends." The book is titled To Be Told by Dan Allender. My counselor gave it to me at the end of our time together and I'm really excited to read more about some of the principles she said she got from this book. I'll probably take it slowly as I usually need time to process these things (and I'm busy and I don't have a lot of time to read more books - I struggle just to read the ones for class. But this is important enough for me to make time for it in my schedule). I'm hoping it will change my life as I journey through it.

"Perfect Worship"

Here is a poem I wrote for English class in 12th grade. It's called "Perfect Worship."

Rain or shine you reach for the sky,
growing closer every day.
Your branches spread wide
touching every life with hospitality.

Deep are your roots
in the soil of truth,
drawing nourishment
from the Bread of Life.

Pruned with love,
watered with care,
even more faithful
each passing year.

Oh, how I wish
I could be like thee!

Miscellaneous and application update

Well, that is my first flat tire. It took a flat tire for God to get me to stop and rest a little. Usually it's not that bad, but sometimes he does need to do something drastic like that.

Previously I mentioned that I have a summer job. Well, what I think I have failed to make clear to most people is that I will be moving for the summer in order to work at that job. So tomorrow I pack, move an hour and a half away, and unpack. I hope I can get it all done in one day; and that I don't forget anything too important and have to make another trip.

I went to Islands of Adventure today with the students from my internship. It was lots of fun!


Ok, so now for the more lengthy and more important stuff - the application update. Yesterday I met with a woman on staff to discuss further some things I had written in my application. When I was filling out my application I was very honest (as I thought I should be even though it was unnerving). Some of the things that I mentioned came as red flags to the staff that was processing my application; which I completely understand. So this woman heard of this and wanted to talk face-to-face and get a better feeling of how I am doing with this stuff. It was a good conversation. But I am left more unsure than I was before. I am less confident that this is God's plan, but I don't have any other desires that come close to this one, and I don't know what else I would do if I don't get this job, so.....I still think I'll get it, I'm just not so sure. I completely understand their concerns, and identify/agree with one in particular - one very important one that I had not thought of before. I left with the feeling that I have a 50-50 chance of acceptance. (One thing I really appreciated was the woman's honesty with me, and thus, the reasons I know these things and more.) I don't know what is best and I'm not going to make that decision; I'm going to let someone else make that decision and pray that if this is not God's best for me that he would close the door on this opportunity. Sorry so vague, I just don't have much time to explain more, plus I don't know how much I would want to share, so yeah.... I hope to hear back from them by the end of this week or the middle of next week at the latest. Please pray that God would give these people his supernatural wisdom to know what decision to make. Thanks.

: )

This is my backyard...and yes, that is a deer just wandering through
it eating some dinner. Amazing.